I like reality the way it is

JC would be proud…

7even

ONE

The only time I wore a skirt in public (it was one of my friend’s birthday party), I came back home at morning still wearing make-up, however, my parents didn’t tell me anything at all. I realized I was still wearing make-up only when I woke up later that day and looked at myself in the mirror. Sure enough, the mascara was all over the face by that time… but parents still didn’t say anything to me, which was absolutely weird.

TWO

I officially spend quite a bit more time near the computer than I spend in my bed. Most of that time is a complete waste though, browsing around in the internet, looking up stuff in Wikipedia and generally doing useless stuff (that’s how I came to Chickenmafia anyway).

THREE

Speaking of Chickenmafia, I came there because JoyfulChicken wrote a post about Miriam Rivera, and I was looking up some information about her at that time. However, I took my time to read his whole blog from the first post to the last, and I found most of them hilarious, thus I joined them. However, the primary reason I came there is still a Hispanic pre-op transsexual, who managed to fool six men into believing she was a genuine female.

FOUR

No matter how hard our English teacher tried to squeeze British pronouncation into our brain, I still speak with a noticeable American accent and use many American words. However, I ultimately fail to skip “u” in words like “colour”, “neighbour”, “valour” and similar.

FIVE

I totally hate when someone tries to convince me in something without providing sufficient arguments. I can kill a person, if he or she doesn’t change his view when I provide sufficient arguments. However, this is far from what I would do to people, who are trying to draw others into foolishness they are in.

SIX

I am a huge fan of karting and one of my biggest dreams in the world (after becoming a woman, I guess) is to build a kartodrome and to buy four or six karts so me and my friends can have some racing fun. And yes, you read that right, I indeed do think about changing my sex. Note that “think” doesn’t equal “will surely do” though.

SEVEN

Despite the fact I generally enjoy programming and I even plan to become a programmer after I finish the university, Computer Science is my ultimate most hated subject in the university. It also has an arguable distinction of being the only subject, all of which lectures I either slept through or skipped entirely. 

ABC

A - Age: 20.515

B - Band Listening To Right Now: Pink Floyd

C - Career: Mathematician / Software Developer (no, I’m not planning to be a drag queen)

D - Drink or Smoke: I don’t smoke and I don’t drink alcoholic beverages, however, I do have a weakness for a milkshake.

E - Easiest Friends To Talk To: Šalnė and Vilgailė, I guess, and you don’t know both of them.

F - Funniest Moment: Errr… I really don’t remember any, because there are way too many.

G - Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: Worms all the way.

H - Have a Girlfriend: I’m my girlfriend myself. No, seriously, no, and it’s kind of sad.

I - In love: Every Saturday from 12:00 CET to 15:00 CET.

J - Junk Food You Like: Pizza Calzone

K - Kids: None (and, hopefully, I won’t ever have more than one anyway)

L - Longest Ride Ever: Budapest - Zvolen - Zakopane - Krakow - Katowice - Warszawa - Bialystok - Marijampolė - Kaunas (1200 kilometers, 24 hours, no sleep, hitchhiking)

N - Names For Your Future Kids: Šalnė. I wouldn’t like to have a boy, so I didn’t think of a name for a boy.

O - One Wish You Have Now: That’s a tough one… Be successful and accepted as whatever I am.

P - Phobias: I may be scared to death by any unstable surface under my feet, but I’m not afraid of heights.

Q - Favourite Quote: I am a disciple of science, I know that the Universe in the full compliance with natural laws, but many place reliance on the pseudoscience of quaks and morons and fools because their education is deficient, they put faith in ominscient make-believe beings that control their fate… and the rest of MC Hawking’s “What we need more is science”

R - Reasons To Smile: Beautiful girls, tasty food and nice words about me.

S - Sleeping Hours: 4:00-12:00 EET

T - Time You Woke Up: 8:00, 9:00, 10:00, 11:00 and finally 12:00

U - Unknown Fact About You: I hate gays, but I’m very tolerant to bisexuals.

V - Vegetable You Hate: Cabbage

W - Worst Thing About You: Saying whatever I have on my mind without checking the odds of insulting another person first.

X - X-rays You’ve Had: four times my left hand

Y - Yummy Foods: fried chicken with absolutely anything edible on it, in it and around it.

Z - Zodiac Sign: Capricorn / Rabbit

Questions by Joyful “JC” Chicken.

1. Why do you like reality the way it is?

Because I hate fairy tales. I can’t stand when people think of all kinds of bullshit to explain something that can be easily explained scientifically. I hate when reality is distorted by human imagination. There is really no need to do that and it can only mislead us somewhere very very wrong. The universe is amazing the way it is, and it’s great we can understand it as it is, without relying on make-believes.

Actually, this phrase comes from this blog, which is my favourite after Chicken Mafia. I just… uh… borrowed it.

2. If you were gay, would you rather take it in the mouth or in the ass? Discuss the pros and cons of each.

If I were gay… I think I’d take it anyway I can. It doesn’t matter as long as it pleasant, I think. However, as I haven’t tried neither of the ways, I can’t really ellaborate upon pros and cons. I think one of the cons of anal sex would be an absolute need of lubricant. I’ve heard you can hurt yourself seriously without it. And muscles in the anus can lose their tonus a bit. One of the cons of oral sex would be that an average dick is longer than the depth of average mouth, so you can accidentally lose your breakfast. And I have no idea what the stuff tastes like, but it doesn’t look delicious no matter how I look at it. Pros… I don’t know without trying it first. Any volunteers for the sake of scientific experiment? Yeah, right… I can even dress like a girl! I’ve done it once!

Now I just imagine how many readers are puking reading this. All three, I guess, hehe.

3. If you have to wipe one country off the face of the Earth, what country would you pick and why?

I’d find a spare time machine, go back in time five centuries and drop ten or twelve nuclear charges on Muscovia, so it wouldn’t grow into Russian Empire and later USSR. They did so much wrong to my country I just hate them. Especially because they always claim they “saved” and “liberated” Baltic States. I always thought “liberation” means getting your armed forces out afterwards, not staying for nearly 50 years fucking up your economy, killing innocent people and putting our technology level at least ten years behind Western Europe.

4. What would you have to eat for dinner if you want radioactive green poop the next day?

Copper carbonate hydroxide with a little bit of radium. This will surely give you radioactive green poop… if you make to the next day.

5. What is a sound of one hand clapping?

Quite silent, because the finger muscles alsone aren’t powerful enough, but it’s not unusual. Just like a normal two ahnd clapping, when fingers hit the other palm.

For bloggers who want to spread this meme, here are the rules:

1. Leave me a comment saying “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by giving you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

As there (supposedly) are people who read my blog (why don’t they show up in blog statistics then?), I am forced to update it. Yes, that means I can’t cover my lack of imagination, creativity, ideas, my laziness and overall pissed-offiness with the claim that no one reads this thing. Aaaargh. OK, you asked for it. And I hate you for that.

So… what to write about? The rant about genetically modified food was already perfectly covered by JC. Phil Plait linked to a cool website which is becoming even cooler, because they started to post cool videos, but I can’t borrow everything from Phil. And that video is not mighty cool, actually, it could’ve been better. It still got me. I must be stupid, it seems.

I could copy this joke from ArcaMax, but that would be copyright infringement:

- Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?

- Why is it that no matter what colour of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

- Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?

- Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

- Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?

- How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?

- Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them? If not then what was the purpose of the bath?

- Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?

- When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say ‘It’s all right’? It isn’t all right, so why don’t we say, ‘That hurt, you stupid idiot?’

- Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

- Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?

So I won’t post it. Imagine it’s not there.

I could simply send you to my other blog about board games and stuff, but I imagine there aren’t a lot of readers who are interested in board games, so why bother?

Fuck fuck fuck and fuckity fuck. And I want to overtake ChickenMafia with blogging skills like that. Woops… Accidentally slipped out. Imagine it’s not there either.

I could try to write a diary again. However, diaries suck. I have tried several times already, it’s useless. And no one cares after all, so why bother? “I had lectures from 8am to 9pm yesterday. University sucks. I want to kill everyone. Shoot them all down. Yeah, that’s a good idea.” Riiiight… And yes, I know Virginia Tech is a very old news. A month old or so.

I could write about a girl from the university that I like a lot… But she has a boyfriend, so let’s leave it at that. I don’t want this blog to become the place of tearful love stories. I like spiderwebs on ancient posts better.

What else? Oh yeah, I’m going to a charity trip with the kids from orphanage around Lithuania. Being very nice person and all… I hope I won’t get sued for ruining several kids’ lifes.

Jesus Christ, how do the women do it? They all have diaries (I saw it in the movies) which they dutifully fill in every day. I can’t write more than three sentences. Either my life sucks, or my writing skills.

So fuck it, I won’t blog today, no matter how much Philos and Neko-Chan tease me.